What a joyful, hopeful thought. Stop mourning for the past and start rejoicing in the now. Look around you and find the opportunities in the present.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it the present. —Eleanor Roosevelt

And here I thought Master Oogway from Kung Fu Panda made this up by his own, enlightened, animated self. A tip of the hat to Mrs. Roosevelt—I didn’t know she was a Kung Fu First Lady.

Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful…. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment. —Eckhart Tolle, “A New Earth”

Destiny… divine providence… good/bad luck. Depending on your philosophy/religious beliefs, you’ll choose one of those as the origin/cause of your current situation. You can rail at the situation you may be in, or you can accept it and be at peace—your choice. Regardless, it simply is what it is. What are you going to do about it?

This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now. —President Thomas S. Monson, “Finding Joy in the Journey”

I love and respect Thomas Monson. He is a good man and a worthy example to me of a life well-lived. I believe him to be a prophet of God.

If you have children who are grown and gone, in all likelihood you have occasionally felt pangs of loss and the recognition that you didn’t appreciate that time of life as much as you should have. Of course, there is no going back, but only forward. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future.

If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.

Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.” We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us.

Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. —President Thomas S. Monson, “Finding Joy in the Journey“

Yesterday I expressed my gratitude to numerous co-workers for what they have taught me.  Honesty. Responsibility. Integrity. Humility. Respect. Thanks to them—the lessons learned and examples shown—I’ll move forward… better.

My wife Diana was commenting the other day that the Fisher Price family toys were the best “investments.”She added, “They play with them more than any other toys.” First of all, the use of the word “investment” by my wife to describe toys. It’s not exactly what I would have used to describe buying toys, but it is a beautiful–and revealing–choice of words. For my wife, toys are not the clutter-the-floors-thus-creating-pick-up-time-messes type of things that they are to me. For her, toys are the things that keep our kids occupied and enjoying life. Diana sees them as investments in our kids. It really is a fundamental difference between my wife and I. (Where would I be without her stabilizing influence?)

I did some volunteer work cleaning toys at a family and child services house a few years ago. As I was wiping every toy down with a Clorox solution, an employee came by and talked about the importance of the toys. She said that if you wanted to learn about a kid, watch them when they play. Our kids play “family” more than anything else. I was just watching Jasmine and Abbey act out spring break with their toys. As a family, we were planning on going to Las Vegas to visit with Diana’s family, but we had to cancel those plans because of some medical complications that arose for Diana (oblique, yes, but I don’t want to elaborate). Anyway, the kids are a bit disappointed with that decision. Their playtime dialogue with their toys underscores that. When I slow down and I take the time to watch my kids play, I learn a lot. More than that, I always have this swell of parental satisfaction and joy for what I have in life. I love my kids and family. God help me to keep my priorities straight when my job pressures me to do other things…

Sometimes I am very envious of my wife and the things she gets to do. Yesterday I worked at home during the AM. This gave me the chance to walk Jasmine to the bus stop at noon. As I turned to leave, Jasmine pulled me down, gave me a kiss and said “Bye Dad.” Then she repeated that again really loud several more times. I think she wanted the other kids at the bus stop to know I was her dad. Tears start to well in my eyes right now when I think of it. What an honor to be a father.

Okame hachimoku. My favorite Japanese proverb. One translation is “The bystander sees more than the player.” I first learned of it during my two years living on the island of Hokkaido in Japan as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It’s stuck with me ever since.

During my undergraduate English studies at BYU, this simple proverb’s underlying philosophy became manifest as literary critical theories. In genres ranging from Native American books to African-American studies to modern British literature, my professors encouraged me and my classmates to seek understanding and meaning using different critical theories; we were to peer through the so-called “lens” of a particular critical theory, and write about what we saw. Certainly, there are limitations to this endeavor—spending the proverbial moment in “someone else’s shoes” doesn’t make us that person. Our vantage point, while temporarily that person’s, is still borrowed. But, rather than discourage us from trying, that understanding should temper what we see with a bit of humility (even after years of study and doctorate degrees and how much we think we understand a person or people).

Notwithstanding the inherent difficulties, I’ve found it to be challenging, humbling, and—ultimately—enlightening to at least try to shift my perspective.